Fairy Tale 1

I might look just like a frog, but if a princess like you kisses me, something magical will happen... you will become a frog too!

Party 2

The night ended too soon and I don't think I can fall asleep. Maybe I have to count sheeps. Maybe I need something harder... *sighs*... "One baby-sitter, two baby-sitters, three baby-sitters, four baby-sitters..."

Party 1

May be I am not funny, but right now I smell funny...

2009 Horoscope

For those who started wondering about the year to come, here is my Horoscope. Enjoy it.

Aries (Mar.21-Apr.19):
Astrology is bullshit!

Taurus (Apr.20-May.20):
Astrology is bullshit!

Gemini (May.21-Jun.21):
Astrology is bullshit!

Cancer (Jun.22-Jul.22):
Astrology is bullshit!

Leo (Jul.23-Aug.22):
Astrology is bullshit!

Virgo (Aug.23-Sep.22):
Astrology is bullshit!

Libra (Sep.23-Oct.22):
Astrology is bullshit!

Scorpio (Oct.23-Nov.21):
Astrology is bullshit!

Sagittarius (Nov.22-Dec.21):
Astrology is bullshit!

Capricorn (Dec.22-Jan.19):
Astrology is bullshit!

Aquarius (Jan.20-Feb.18):
Astrology is bullshit!

Pisces (Feb.19-Mar.20):
Astrology is bullshit!

Just go away

What the hell are you doing here? Why are you reading this? Stop! Don't you have anything better to do? Get out! Go away! This is totally uninteresting and irrelevant. Leave me alone. Can't you hear me? Stop, I said! This is private. Stop! Just go! Just go away...

Confessions of a Suicide

Chance, Randomness, Evil god, Mystery, Heartless Complexity, Satan, Survival of the fittest,
Hidden variables, Undecipherable network of causes and consequences, Lord Siva...
I am tired of fighting you. I surrender. Every little triumph in
my life at the expense of spending days or years of my life to achieve it...
What kind of triumph is that? You know it and you let me get
proud of my strength and talent, when it is obvious that you are the one who is winning,
because I am giving you my precious time... and you just eat it, in the most disgusting way, and you burp and
laugh, and you think "Poor creature, he overcame that obstacle, he got that job, that toy,
that woman, that fantasy, that prize, that insignificant whatever, and I got 35
years of his time"... Well, it's over. No more of this for you. Eat shit, motherfucker. I am out.

Optimism

"Today is the first day of the rest of my..."
Bang!! Bang!!
"Aaarghhhh..."
(RIP)

Norskkurs's Homework

Om klær

Jeg vet ikke så mye om klær. Passer røde sokker med blå sko? Jeg vet ikke. Kanskje. Noen sa at moten er så stygg at den må byttes ut fire ganger i året. Og jeg tenker at klær er et dum ingeniørarbeid fordi vi trenger forskjellige klær for forskjellige steder (det er ikke effektivt).

Derfor må jeg spørre ekspertene. De ser mote i fugler, mote i natur. Jeg bare tenker på klær som skjult frihet, klær som endrer hormonene og klær til vaskemaskinen. Jeg vet ikke så mye om klær, ja, ja, men jeg tenker at en tre-åringer ga meg beste svaret: "Hva er beste klær?", sa jeg. "Beste klær er ikke klær", sa hun.

On Women

A woman

I was 20-something years old when I began to understand the world... The shortest euclidean connection between two points is a woman... A woman is equal to the square root of the sum of the squares on the two other sides of a right triangle... E=mc2... plus a woman...

Well Deserved Insults

2004: George W again

I will write the most stupid poem in history
It is going to be so stupid...
The books in the shelves will spit it out of them...
The flowers in the backyard will die because of it...
The gringos everywhere will understand it...

Farewell

If all my words were not enough
Here you have the last one:
Whore

On Love

It hurts

Being in a conference with one of the leading experts on explosives in the world, I felt that I had to ask him this question: "Sir, could you tell me how many disappointments can a heart resist before exploding?"...

Guilt

What was the word that Jack Nicholson was writing once and again when he got mad in "The Shining"? I can't remember... But mine is "Sorry". Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry...

Mario Ruoppolo
To: All fans of "The Postman"

O

On Man

Having Sex with a Catholic Nun

Words... are just a bunch of letters?
Letters are just pieces of words!

Man... is just a bunch of molecules?
Molecules are just pieces of a man!

The Arrival

The Role of the Personal Number
To: Norwegian Immigration

I don't have a personal number. But I certainly need it to get the right to have a Planck constant permit. Because it seems that something happened inside my atoms when I moved to Norway and now completely different forces are regulating my subatomic particles. Now I don't have van der Waals forces or chemical bonds (I think I have to apply for them after getting my Planck constant). Then, I don't have such things like carbohydrates, lipids, proteins, nucleic acids, cells, tissues, organs. I am allowed to apply for all those things one month after getting my intermolecular authorization. But I don't have spatio-temporal constants either, so I am not sure about how long a month could be. Nowadays I am less than a monkey, less than bacteria, less than an atom, I am a soup of particles far away from each other. Hopefully, one day I will get my personal number, and then, I will be.

My Office's Computer

Hell is a place full of computers running Linux. In this place, in order to install something, you must install thousands and thousands of libraries and other software, but every version of a software happen to be incompatible with some of the others. So you have to install, and install, and re-install... FOREVER...